Still here. Just.
By hissychick | July 31, 2008
And no that has nothing to do with my MIL, who has been a massive help and company and the reason I was able to get my first proper hair cut and colour in four years (side note: I’m not that keen on the red foils), something to do with the two to one nap a day E (even more hours spent running around after the daredevil child who does not stop or have any fear, no concept of the word no, and no time to sit at ‘puter when you are retrieving said kid from the chandeliers so as to speak)…and everything to do with three and a half year oldishness.
Darling A, when you read this in the future please don’t be offended when I say that this particular phase of your life has been totally shitty, pass me the vodka because I am sick to fuck of the defiance, whining and being told that I don’t like to say sorry/leave my little sister alone/go away mummy I hate you somewhat unpleasant.
Please tell me that four is fantastic. Pretty please.
Go on, I’ll give you a dollar…..
Topics: Going bogue, Threenager alert, hi ho E is on the go | 6 Comments »
Yet another mini break(down)
By hissychick | July 28, 2008
The ILs are winging their way to our place as I type for a week’s visit, and I shall welcome them with open arms. I will actually get some time to myself this week!
Luckily for you lot, this also means that I am unlikely to be blogging and you too will get a break from the boring shite that I have been serving up of late, both posts and comments. Everyone’s a winner.
Now I’m off to cuddle A, who has been trying so hard to be a well behaved girl today, and perhaps sneak another smoochy kiss from E when she wakes up.
Until next time…adieu. And stuff.
Topics: Taking a mini break | 4 Comments »
Frustrated Inc.
By hissychick | July 25, 2008
Many of the world’s great writers have been inspired by the darker human emotions, and written pieces of breathtaking beauty and complexity when the black clouds of depression or the hot fires of anger have threatened to overwhelm them.
I just become a rather shitty writer of trite nonsense, with far too much inane whining replacing anything of substance or amusement, the kind of prose that I enjoy writing and you, dear internets, might actually enjoy reading.
I am not in a dark place at the moment, nor am I in a shiny happy people lalalalalala mood either. I am merely frustrated. And you know what set me off? My freaking hormones, the ones that just gave me a period of quick, let’s get two of everything onto this boat pronto proportions followed by a massive tension headache chaser, dear god would someone do something crunchy to my neck and make it all go the fuck away The fact that I started the day with a dishwasher full of clean dishes and a small pile of dirties on the sink.
But so what? I hear you say. That my friends, is enough to set me off when I am in this kind of mood. In a chain reaction well known to hysterical twats like myself this meant that the dirty breakfast dishes piled up everywhere because I couldn’t put them straight in the wash which meant that I didn’t have time to clear up before taking A to daycare which meant that I had to deal with them on my return instead of taking my usual Friday morning breather which meant that I then noticed all the other piles of miscellaneous crap around the place which rendered me inert with procrastination, unable to figure out where to start. An entire renovation of the house or popping on a load of washing?
I am that uptight at the moment.
So forgive me my foibles and my not very interesting posts of late. I am clearly in need of a life.
Topics: Hello fiend, hello i'm boring | 4 Comments »
The eye has it
By hissychick | July 22, 2008
That little heart sticker that I tried to remove from A’s eye yesterday has magically reappeared and we have not been able to extract it from its cosy little position beneath her bottom eyelid. So mr hissychick has just taken our little punk chick to the GP after hours clinic attached to the nearest metropolitan hospital, a thirty minute drive away.
Apparently there are people out there who pay good money to do what our threenager did for free. Maybe I should start hiring her out. Got to be able to pay for my WWM trophy and all that.
ETA: It’s out (damn spot)….
Topics: Threenager alert, WWM 08, hi ho A is on the go | 5 Comments »
If I can’t have a w(h)ine then what can I have?
By hissychick | July 21, 2008
Total amount of sleep: approximately six hours (broken by night time booby calls of course).
Number of months since I last had eight hours’ sleep in a row: Fifteen(ish).
Total number of minutes that I had to myself without a child clinging to my leg or demanding my attention between 7am and 7:30 pm today: zero.
Number of trips to the toilet where I was able to close the door and not be asked whether I was doing a wee or a poo or without a toddler standing at the safety gate screaming their head off with separation anxiety: zero
Number of minor accidents today: five. A: a split lip, a tiny heart sticker lodged in her eye (don’t ask, I tried to dislodge it and after much carry on I still can’t find the little fucker), one thumb slammed in car door. E: one forehead graze/bruise, partial ingestion of the keypad of my mobile phone (what the?)
Number of accidents that occurred simultaneously: two. Which led me to ponder…do you deal with potential head injury or blood from mouth first, and can you do it calmly with two children screaming their heads off in stereo?
Amount of heartbreak at the decisive way in which husband offers the use of all of our baby stuff to his brother and newly pregnant partner because according to him we’re done: Lots.
Topics: Going bogue | 5 Comments »
Adventures in poor parenting #1324
By hissychick | July 17, 2008
It’s probably wrong that A requests, dances and sings along to Flight of the Conchords’ Mutha Uckers, She’s So Hot and Business Time (’the bed song mummy’) on YouTube.
I blame my own parents, who happily let me watch and learn the songs from Grease.
Would write more, but I’ve managed to hurt my freaking back. Sadly not from any post recycling business socks related activity, but from rescuing E from herself at mother’s group today. I swear the child already thinks that she’s three, so help me dog when she is actually a threenager.
Peace out.
Topics: Silly mummy, a bit of fluff | 2 Comments »
Rock bottom
By hissychick | July 14, 2008
Last night I hit rock bottom.
It should not have surprised me as much as it did, given that we’ve just had another spell of rather interrupted sleep, and that many of the warning signs of burn out have been around for a while.
But it did.
I am a shit mother. I am a shit wife.
Pathetic.
Topics: Hello fiend | 9 Comments »
Priceless
By hissychick | July 11, 2008
Early morning. A polite knock on the bedroom door.
A: Good morning Mummy can I come in?
Me: Sure darling, and good morning to you too.
A: (accepts and returns my kiss but then pushes straight past me to the object of her affection): Morning E. It’s breakfast time.
E (whole face lighting up): Did ay Daba! (G’day A!)
A (huge grin on her face): Mummy E is talking! And she said hello to me! (Reaches over the cot and kisses her sister). I love you E.
E: (Chuckling and patting A on the head) Yay!
It* is so worth it.
* And by ‘it’ I mean the never ending pile of washing, dishes and other general household mess I am yet to clean up this morning and which had rendered my mood rather foul until I observed this sitcom-esque interaction between the girls.
Topics: I'm a Mum, hi ho A is on the go, hi ho E is on the go | 5 Comments »
Testing…one..doo..Memo to clothing manufacturers: builder’s cleavage is not appropriate for a threenager
By hissychick | July 8, 2008
What the hell is it with little girls’ clothing? I am sick to death of the fact that all pants and undies from the usual big chain department stores are hipster style, and no matter how big they are A’s little bottom keeps peeping out of the top. She’s not in the least bit comfortable, and neither am I. We have a whole wardrobe full of clothes that were bought with good intentions, have been worn once and then declared ‘yucky’. Most often by me.
Why do manufacturers and buyers continue to do this? I suspect it has something to do with so called fashion. As it is hipsters as trendy for three year olds is a whole can of ugh I don’t want to go into now.
Amazingly this policy does not seem to apply to boys clothing, as I discovered yesterday. After sending A with her father to the toy department, I rummaged around the sales racks in the boys department and found a pair of jeans. Soft denim, comfy wide legs and best of all an elasticised waist band that was actually meant to sit on the waist. When A tried them on she sighed with relief and wanted to wear them out of the store! They looked gorgeous too, and just the thing for climbing and mucking around outside. Something you just can’ t do in dresses, and nor should you have to. Plus they should be really easy to pull up and down when A needs to go to the toilet. This is nigh on impossible with the silly tiny fly and button combo found on little girls’ jeans. Then again I guess you can’t get in too early with the must adhere to fashion even if it is uncomfortable and inhibits movement and independence message with the female of the species. Grr.
I wasn’t so successful with the undies. I picked up some boys undies in a grey marle that actually went up higher than the hips hoping that A wouldn’t notice the difference. No dice. She wasn’t having anything to do with boys underwear. For starters they weren’t pink, dog forbid.
I just can’t seem to find the good old cottontail undies, aka granny knickers for kids any more. Why is that? No nasty elasticy bits around the legs, high enough to cover little bottoms, and protect little kidneys from the cold when your inevitably short top rides up (again, why do I have to dress my three year old in size 6 tops so that they’re long enough?)
Internets, can you help me out here?
******
In other news, E is fixated with following me around the house and cleaning up. This involves a whole lot of sweeping with a toy broom, and handing me whatever is on the floor with a smile and a “ta“ This includes all small choking hazards (bits of plastic et al that dodgy mummy has failed to notice) and whatever she deems as mess, especially shoes. If I don’t respond immediately she follows up with a “TA!” so forceful and reminiscent of her older sister that I can’t hep but laugh…and shudder for the future.
The littlest miss is also fond of saying “Doo!” whenever I say “one” (as in 1…2..), again just like A at that age.
Do you think mr hissychick can cope with another bright, passionate and temperamental female in the house?
Too late. Heh.
Topics: Threenager alert, hi ho E is on the go, hissyfit | 4 Comments »
“I love you Shane! My wife says it’s OK…”
By hissychick | July 6, 2008
Mr hissychick shouted these exact words out during the Sydney vs Collingwood AFL match we attended last night. We were in the tenth row from the boundary, well within earshot of said player. The father of my children was wearing E’s baby magpies beanie at the time, and kept bopping me in the head with his giant inflatable hand. He had not consumed any alcohol.
And you wonder why I don’t blog about my husband very often.
Topics: mr hissychick | 2 Comments »