By hissychick | March 10, 2013

Dear Mrs F,

You will have to pry Evie’s home reader from my reluctant hands. The content is clearly more suitable for mothers than year one students.

Kind regards,

Mrs Hissychick

Ps May I suggest an excursion to the local fire station?

Topics: a bit of fluff | No Comments »

Compare and contrast….

By hissychick | March 9, 2013

Topics: Mummy's little monsters | No Comments »

W(h)ine time

By hissychick | March 9, 2013

We have a heritage pin oak tree in our front yard. A beautiful one hundred year old plus tree that produces hay fever inducing pollen every spring and sheds so many leaves in autumn that a kidlet or two is often lost in the depths if they stand still for too long.

This majestic tree is the local cockatoo hangout. And this afternoon one of those devil birds took aim and crapped on my head.

I should have heeded the omen.

Instead I went grocery shopping with the entire family.

What on earth would possess a barely sane woman to do such a thing? Only the beyond laughable comedy of errors where the individual with two herniated discs in her back is the only one allowed to drive. The husband has three weeks to go on the mandatory six months ban on driving post severe traumatic head injury. We are both counting down the seconds to when we have the option of fighting over who has the threenager while the lucky winner is left with the bigger girls.

I’d forgotten just how much I hate the Age of Unreason. It’s enough to see me breaking my no wine before 5pm rule and practically skipping into work on Mondays and Tuesdays (and breathing a sigh of relief on work at home Wednesdays). Sure I have to work but no one is alternating between screaming and demanding cuddles every five minutes. I even get to have non child related conversations heaven forbid.

Of course being a seasoned veteran of the feral threes I am handling this like a professional. I am not slinking into the refuge of my bedroom, headphones in ears and Pandora customised so that I can pathetically relive the music of the nineties at any and every given opportunity.

I have not coined the phrase “Shut it down” to replace what I am really thinking: “Shut the fuck up”.

No. Not me. I’m mature and sensible.

Bugger. I’ve been discovered. Guess it’s time to tag the husband and take my turn again. Three hours maximum until they are all in bed. And then I think I’ll drag the marriage contractually obliged into ours provided we use at least two forms of let’s never reproduce again.

Living the dream.

Topics: Going bogue, Immyjim, Leave me alone | No Comments »

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