It’s been over two months since we got our girl onto the potty. Two whole months in which she has steadfastly refused to graduate to the far more civilised WC option, despite my various means of begging, bribing, pleading and threatening as previously summarised in this post.

You see, in a rather unfortunate turn of events (you! karma! i hate you!) my daughter inherited my stubborn streak (ahem) and there was no way known she was going to avail herself of the wonders of modern plumbing until she felt that she was ready. Even her carers at daycare were surprised at how determined she was to use her beloved pot.

Until now.

Earlier this week, in one of those world’s worst mother moments I realised that my three year old was suffering from a case of thrush. I won’t fill you in on any of the gory details but suffice to say once treatment was underway most of what I foolishly thought were signs of regression simply disappeared. And when miss A calmly announced to me yesterday that she had used the little toilet at daycare I knew we had to get in quick.

So today mr hissychick and I armed ourselves to the teeth with all sorts of chocolatey bribes and set to work.

Attempt #1 was met with a huge tantrum and no action. I attempted my boring old begging/bribing/ pleading speech, to no avail.

Attempt #2, five minutes later was met with a huge tantrum and no action. I had a brainwave, and told A that if she stopped crying she might find that she wasn’t sad and that using the toilet wasn’t actually scary.

Attempt #3, five minutes later again, began with a tantrum. I asked what reward A would like if she did indeed use the toilet and she said Smarties.

Attempt #4: A took herself to the toilet and did a wee. And yea verily we lavished her with praise and treats.

And ever since then…all wees and poos in the toilet today without fuss or accidents. Sometimes with treats, sometimes not. To say that I am gobsmacked is an understatement.

Is it too early to set fire to the potty?

In other T related news….E is teething, with her upper middle incisors currently cutting through her tender gums. Of course it is a complete coincidence that she also has a streaming head cold, boob fussing and sooky lala tendencies whenever she is put in her cot at the moment. Yes, funny that.

I’m off to finish reading a novel and the newspaper spend some quality time with my husband.

I bid you all a find adieu.

Me: A, you need to go to the toilet, let’s go.

A (doing the wee dance): I don’t need to go.

Me (Grabbing A by the hand and wheeling E into the bathroom) : Oh yes you do.

A sits on toilet for a minute.

A: But I really don’t need to go.

Me (viewing A with suspicion): OK, let’s grab our books and go back to the car for the potty.

A already out the door and back in the children’s section as I speak. I grab our books and reach for the library card in my purse at the back of E’s stroller..

A: Uh-oh…MUMMY, MUMMY, I”VE HAD AN ACCIDENT

I look up to see my daughter weeing all over a floor tic-tac-toe game. Without thinking, I grab a nearby wastepaper bin and stick it under her. Ten year old girl looks on in horror as I catch most of the wee in said bin.

Me: Stand there A, I just have to get some paper towel. Then we’ve got to go..

By now half of the library is looking at me as I dash into the loo, grab paper towel, make a half hearted attempt at cleaning up, chuck wee filled bin liner in paper waste bin in toilet (oops) before folding up playmat and grimly marching to the counter.

Me (after waiting for tiresome old windbag to wind up her pointless conversation with the librarian): Err I am so sorry, but my daughter just had an accident…

A (whining at my feet): BUT I WANT TO STAY HERE MUMMY.

Librarian (wide eyed): Umm, that’s OK, we’ll clean it up..

A: WE NEED TO STAY HERE BUT MY PANTS ARE ALL WET MUMMY

Me (sighing):.. and can I please check these books out while you’re at it?

All eyes were on me as I took a protesting A by the hand and wheeled E’s stroller out of the door as quickly as possible.

Back at the car I managed to find a clean pair of undies for A- of course I’d run out of spare shorts etc because..well…that’d be right. We still needed to go to the supermarket next door, and figuring that hey, at least A’s bottom was covered, off we went.

I should have known better. No sooner than we were in the door than a nosy grandmotherly type came up to me and said “Ohh dear, your little girl doesn’t have any pants”.

If I had have been in a stronger state of mind, I would have told her to mind her own business.

If I had have been in a stronger state of mind, I would have responded with some hissy sarcastic remark such as “Oh really, are they meant to wear pants as well? Silly me, must stop smoking crack.”

Instead I found myself trying to politely tell this woman about the library incident. Anyway she must have seen the crazed look in my eye because she backed right off.

And to think I couldn’t even have a stiff drink when we got home. But, hey, you’ve got to laugh at the absurdity of such a finish to (another) one of those days.

In other news…E is both standing supported and has made a few forward crawling moves. God hates me.