Bitter TTC bitch

28 May 2004

Friday, May 28th, 2004

What a week. Tuesday I get the call..only one embryo has survived. After intial panic has worn off ring clinic and ask whether it is worthwhile proceeding with blast culture. Doctor agrees that it isn’t, transfer scheduled for next morning. Wednesday- transfer seven cell embie. DH is with me and we see the embryo on [...]

22 May 2004

Saturday, May 22nd, 2004

No more blood tests. Embies to be thawed on Tuesday for transfer Friday if one makes it. I don’t know why I can’t shake this black mood, I should be looking forward to doing the FET next week, right? But I just can’t seem to muster any enthusiasm, only sadness and fear alternating with resignation [...]

18 May 2004

Tuesday, May 18th, 2004

Ok I am going to start with one positive thing before I launch into what is becoming a bit of a regular theme in my diary, ie me depressed about not having a baby. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anyway…about a week and a half ago I got to meet Lucy (Elle) and her gorgeous little peach of a [...]

2 May 2004

Sunday, May 2nd, 2004

CD 34 no hormonal alchemy in the boobs etc to let me know that AF is on her way. Unless my shitty mood counts. But then again, trying to stay all positive through this infertility journey simply wears thin at times. Stupid AF better turn up this week as it is time to get back [...]

1 April 2004

Thursday, April 1st, 2004

I am so depressed tonight….and I feel both despondent and resigned. A BFN has never hurt so much before. Why do I have to wait so long for a baby I want so much?

28 February 2004

Saturday, February 28th, 2004

Very early appointment tomorrow to pick up my injection ‘pen’. DH and I are both going to learn how to give the jabs. I’m terrified. The last two weeks haven’t been too bad- stuffing Synarel (I refer to it as my friend Cynthia) up my nose twice a day hasn’t caused a great deal of [...]

27 January 2004

Tuesday, January 27th, 2004

I haven’t written in so long….and even now the news isn’t good. DH and I went to the IVF clinic today to discuss our test results and treatment options. To cut a long story short, DH has a sperm antibody level of 80% and our only hope now is ICSI. We will start treatment in [...]

12 October 2003

Sunday, October 12th, 2003

Well we did the deed around the right times and I dutifully took my cough medicine and even used some egg white on a couple of occasions. I am so over this whole baby making gig. So f*ck it- I’ve had a few drinks at the pub on both Friday and Saturday (hmmm 3-4DPO plus [...]

16 September 2003

Tuesday, September 16th, 2003

Well here I am 12DPO and have been spotting since 8DPO. Wow- a new record. Boobs aren’t sore, negative HPT at 9DPO. Today my temp started to drop. Now all I have to do is wait for the witch. Am I ever going to fall pregnant and have a baby? On a happier note DH [...]