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Ahem.

Our holiday to Tassie did not just involve the immediate hissychicks, rather we were accompanied by mr hissychick’s parents and mr hissychick’s brother and pregnant partner. The kids were beside themselves with all the extra attention, and better still, other villas/bedrooms to visit. Naturally A declared that she wanted to eat, play and sleep over with Nanny and Pa and Uncle P and Auntie K. Of course we milked this opportunity for all it was worth and sent both A and E over to have breakfast/baths/play often as we could.

For the children to bond with their relatives of course, altruistic parents that we are and all that. Nothing to do with the fact that E’s night time sleep and therefore mine were shot to hell for the holiday thanks to a couple of premolars popping though her tender gums. Bonding! Happy families! Yay!

Anyway as far as I was concerned, this arrangement was working quite well until late in the trip, when I was witness to a somewhat a somewhat snappy exchange between my MIL and other DIL (not me! not me!). Long story short, it turns out that my MIL had been receiving many tips about how she was supposed to be caring for our kids, based on K’s experience as a nanny and great rapport with A and E.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

OK it’s still funny to me.

All of the internal relationship politics aside, what was most amusing about this whole issue was that yet again, the wisdom of the not quite parent reared its ugly head. You know, the assvice that is espoused from those who might witness one less than stellar example of parenting and loudly declare that they would NEVER treat their child like that, or those who declare that they would NEVER use a dummy/bottle/bribe their kids with lollies/use a harness/shout/spank their child even though they have not yet been in the thick of sleep deprived parenting themselves. Naturally they would also always CONTROL their child if they misbehaved in public.

It would appear that mr hissychick and I committed a number of these crimes whilst on holiday. To think we let the kids eat some junk food, breastfed on demand/cuddled E to sleep and put her in bed with me when she didn’t sleep, didn’t care one jot that A stayed up late with her grandparents, falling asleep in Nanny’s bed before being transferred to her own! Worst still we did not control A when she threw a few monster tantrums due to excitement and overtiredness at keeping up with a hectic adult schedule!

Fellow veterans from the trenches of parenting under fours, wipes your tears of glee away with me.

Of course the only appropriate response to all of this hullabaloo is to say nothing, sit back, and wait until next February when our loved up and innocent couple of parents to be inevitably break one of those NEVER evers within three nanoseconds of their little one’s arrival*.

In the meantime, I think it’s time to reveal the full details of our girls’ birth stories in all their g(l)ory to a certain couple of parents to be that I’m rather found of.  The funny thing is I’m certain that they’ll think I’m doing it for the perverse satisfaction of scaring them senseless. Of course I am it’s got nothing to do with that, but it’s the best arsenal us parents have against not quite parent assvice and I sure as hell am going to use it.

* Our very first one was giving A a dummy within 24 hours of her birth. Care to share any of yours?