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Thanks for the mammaries
By hissychick | June 2, 2011
Something had to give. Unfortunately it was the breastfeeding.
During last week’s round of bronchiolitis miss I got extremely congested and refused to feed. We’ve been there before, and I have pumped and fenugreeked to see us through. Somehow I got caught up with work/other kidlets/gym/everything else I do and when she was ready to come back my supply wasn’t up to scratch.
The refusals began. The hardcore pumping and supplements began.
The fussiness continued. The supply dwindled to a joke.
I persevered with the regime, internally raging against the inevitable and externally being the fishwife mother from hell. All while exuding that maple syrup smell familiar to those who use galactagogues, at first comforting, but rapidly an unwanted and not easily masked sensory reminder of my failings.
And then new molars started emerging under the gum line and with them point blank rejection.
So yesterday morning I made the heartbreaking decision to stop the pumping, the supplements and to simply not offer, not refuse.
My last baby has not fed since. It’s over. Only seventeen months and I am bereft.
I’m not ready to write the post where I muse on my breastfeeding career, share with you photos and fond memories. Quite frankly I am an absolute hormonal teary mess. As if I wasn’t enough of one already.
Three kidlets. Fifty four months of breastfeeding in total, only a five and a half month break out of the last forty eight months. This is the first time since the middle of 2006 that my body is my own.
And this time it’s forever.
Topics: thanks for the mammaries | 4 Comments »
Oh my lovely. Just huge hugs to mop up the tears. Wipe your snot on my shoulder. xxx
Lucy’s last blog post..Drab to Fab…
Posted by: Lucy on June 3rd, 2011 at 7:24 amI know how you feel, it’s the end of a relationship – which is always going to be hard (especially one that comes with an oxytocin rush!)
Posted by: Kirsten on June 3rd, 2011 at 10:47 amBe gentle with yourself xx
Ahh that wound never heals properly, be it 17 months or 7, but that’s a mammoth effort Em, and I hope you feel proud as well.
Jenn’s last blog post..Day 4, Green
Posted by: Jenn on June 4th, 2011 at 11:02 pmThanks ladies.
She still wants a thirty second one sided comfort suck each morning, does that still count? How pathetic am I?
Posted by: hissychick on June 5th, 2011 at 8:51 pm