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When words fail you
By hissychick | March 26, 2009
The hissychicks went to our local Early Childhood Health Centre for A’s four year old developmental check today. As some of you are already aware, mr hissychick and I have some concerns about our precious eldest girl’s tendency to absolute silence outside of a small trusted circle of family and friends, a personality trait that has become far more obvious with age and her increased exposure to the daycare and preschool environment, where, at best, her preferred carers and teachers will get two or three whispered words out of her at most. A herself clearly enunciated her dilemma to me, fretting yesterday about the impending nurse visit because “I can’t talk to her Mummy, I just CAN’T and I don’t know why“. Without pressing the issue, I gently reassurred her that we would be there and it would be OK and left it at that, hoping that she did not glimpse the pain in my own eyes.
A bravely went through the assessment motions, doing all of the non verbal tasks assigned to her by the nurse with consummate ease while E roamed the room and attempted to join in too, providing a running commentary as she went “E drawing! E’s turn, E hop too!”, prompting a bemused nurse to state the very obvious “You have two very bright little girls on your hands don’t you?“
And then there was the dreaded verbal bit and as anticipated A had not thus far talked to the nurse. However in a flash of insight I suggested to the nurse that mr hissychick run through the exercises with her, things along the lines of getting A to repeat a fairly complex sentence and to complete statements such as “Ice is cold, fire is..” and so on, while we pretended we weren’t paying any attention. A happily obliged, however the instant the nurse turned to face her she would stop.
And all this time there was E, climbing into my lap and shrieking “Daddy loook! Mummy look!”. Grinning at the nurse and once her attention was gained squealing “Lookitme! E jumping!” before launching off my lap in a gleefuly unselfconscious and classic display of extroverted behaviour.
If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, insert your own cliche and all that.
We have been referred for further assessment. It is not a case of won’t, A simply can’t talk in certain situations and we need to know why, and, equally if not more importantly, what we can do about it.
Darling, we believe you. We will do our best to ensure that you are not afraid anymore.
Topics: is that my instinct I see before me, words and lack thereof | 6 Comments »
Sweet, sweet girl. I want to hug her and tell her I understand. When I’m at my worst (and of course, we’re not nearly talking about the same thing), I cannot, simply cannot get any sound to come out of my mouth. I cannot speak, sometimes know, logically, I need to, but I can’t do it.
Hope she’s ok and you can get on top of it. Mostly, I just want to hug you for that last sentence.
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Posted by: Melissa on March 26th, 2009 at 11:40 pmIt is good that they can at least verbalise their feelings and fear to you.
Good that you can take it from there and that daddy is also able to help her through the assessment.
Everything should be alright now that things are on the way.
Hugz!
Posted by: Ann on March 27th, 2009 at 1:01 pmAgree with Ann that A is not completely shutting out the world, that she can at least confide in the people who matter most- her parents.
And that she is at least participating even if it requires the nurse not to turn away at all.
All these, better than otherwise. I think its positive from here on.
JLow’s last blog post..Rockstar Caleb
Posted by: JLow on March 27th, 2009 at 4:24 pmBugger- I hate crying
Posted by: Simone on March 27th, 2009 at 4:44 pmOh mate, I just want to smother A with love and let her know that she’s such an amazing, beautiful, intelligent and precious girl. It must be so frustrating for her and for you too.
I really hope that you can find a strategy that will help A to break down the barrier that is blocking her way. And when she does break through…look out WORLD!!!
Big hugs xx
p.s. E is just too cute for words.
Posted by: Em on March 27th, 2009 at 9:14 pmOh, hope Sweety A will not be too stressed by it all.
Yes, you have 2 very bright girls.
So different but so wonderful in their own ways.
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Posted by: Moomykin on April 1st, 2009 at 9:05 pm