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Damaged goods
By hissychick | December 2, 2008
Our lovely new floors already have a mighty big scratch and dent in a spot right in front of the TV where, last night, I threw and smashed a plate in sheer frustration, anger, and sadness. And then followed through with a sobbing fit that the entire street could hear.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a houseproud person and not one who enjoys spoiling beautiful things. But when you’re flooding from a week late period, one which had been preceded by your stupidly naive infertile self taking a test that was negative,but then showing a very faint positive ten minutes later, when you then start to suffer one sided pains scarily reminiscent of the ectopic pregnancy you endured six years ago and then start bleeding three days later you tend to be a bit emotional.
When you are listening to your youngest screaming her head off after not sleeping for fourteen hours straight, when every sleep time has been a battle for almost a fortnight and where there have been multiple night wakings in which your distressed and teething child who is clearly going through the eighteen months sleep regression will not resettle for hours on end you tend to be very sleep deprived and, dare I say it, a raw bundle of nerves yourself.
When you feel that you don’t have the energy and patience to deal with your threenager, who, although showing promising signs of the delightful four year old she is about to become is getting only the snappy and distracted version of her mother, you tend to feel engulfed by guilt.
When you’ve forgotten how to laugh alongside and let your husband know how special he is you feel horrible.
When you are at the end of your tether something has to give, and this time it was the floor.
And now it is time to pick up the pieces and move on.
I am coping, and will continue, to cope. Somehow.
Topics: Going bogue, hissyfit | 10 Comments »
I wish I could just take you for coffee and have you cry into my shoulder. Cyber hugs instead. xx
Lucy’s last blog post..The Lady at the Chemist……..
Posted by: Lucy on December 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pmOh! I hear you in large lumps. I have no words of help except to say you are doing nothing wrong and you can throw what you like in order to release the feelings.
Although I will say I have taken to eating off plastic plates and cups for the last couple of months as I hate wrecking the matching set and then feeling the need to throw the rest of the plates.
Please smile!
Posted by: Simone on December 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pmHissy, my throat aches after reading your post. I’m sorry for so many levels of exhausting emotional stress.
Wish I could give you a cuddle, or a warm, unwavering hand on your shoulder.
Love to you, lots.
xx Ave
Posted by: Vanilla on December 2nd, 2008 at 6:15 pmoh….poor you.
Please take care of yourself. Wish I could be there to offer a hug. But hugz online anyway.
Ann’s last blog post..Of rest(au)rants!
Posted by: Ann on December 2nd, 2008 at 7:15 pmOkay I am the only male so far to comment.
There were times when I wanted to lash out at my kids for them being themselves of their age- when i just wanted to smack silly them into submission..
I am glad you didn’t express these desires like i had, though.
JLow’s last blog post..What would you do if you lost your toddler?
Posted by: JLow on December 2nd, 2008 at 10:46 pmSometimes it feels like the powers that be are against us…and it totally sucks! Am so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time mate, I really am! Wishing you a sleeping toddler, a cooperative body, a patient threenager and a well deserved backrub from your understanding hubby.
Lots of love xxx Em
Posted by: Em on December 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 amThankyou everyone, for your kind words of support and encouragement. It means so much to me.
Give me a few days and I will be back to my usual hissy self…
Posted by: hissychick on December 3rd, 2008 at 9:07 pmHugs.
Cyntech’s last blog post..Star Trek trailer
Posted by: Cyntech on December 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 pm*Hugs*
*Hugs*
*Hugs*
Hope you are a whole lot better now.
Moomykin’s last blog post..Micah In Action
Posted by: Moomykin on December 7th, 2008 at 2:27 amWine. My prescription. Now that I can almost do that.
Sometimes life just truly sucks. I don’t know why it does that – why it lifts our hopes just to smash them so cruelly, but it does. I hope you’re OK.
Jenn’s last blog post..All over
Posted by: Jenn on December 8th, 2008 at 5:51 pm