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And the prosecution rests its case
By hissychick | June 16, 2008
Internets, I would dearly love to be writing you a somewhat witty and uplifting post about the fact that E and I will be celebrating a twelve month breastfeeding relationship on her birthday this Wednesday. Or details of the latest clever, insightful and hilarious conversation I have had with A. But now is not the time.
I’m beyond it.
The hissychick inside the computer before you is drained, physically from yet another nightmare night of broken sleep, during which E woke four times absolutely screaming her head off and inconsolable without either breast or rocking. However it’s the emotional turmoil that has done me in.
I stand before you, the jury, charged with the following: failure as a mother.
Prosecution: Is it true, ms hissychick, that on the night of 15 June 2008 you let your youngest daughter scream for twenty minutes without picking her up?
Me: Yes, mr hissychick and I have tried everything. This has been happening for over a month now. It’s been well over a year since I last had a full unbroken eight hour stretch of sleep. We’d already tried to soothe her and decided that there was nothing else left to do…
Prosecution: Just yes or no will suffice.
Me: Well…yes.
Prosecution: And is it true that after these twenty minutes you screamed at your defenseless child to stop screaming?
Me:Well yes…I’m exhausted and stressed, it was so upsetting, I’m so tired that I am not always rational of late.
Prosecution: Would you care to repeat the last part of your statement?
Me: What? Ummm I am not always rational?
Prosecution: So you agree you are irrational.
Me: Wait a minute…
Prosecution: Would a rational person yell at a baby? Would a rational person let their child scream so loud that they woke their neighbours up night after night?
Me: But…
Prosecution: Yes or no ms hissychick?
Me: I guess not…
Prosecution: So you agree you are irrational?
Me: I guess.
Prosecution: Answer the question.
Me: Yes.
Prosecution: And should a mother be that irrational?
Me: Hang on a minute, we all have our moments, I love my kids, they’re OK….
Prosecution: Answer the question.
Me: No.
Prosecution: So tell me why this court should not find you guilty of poor mothering when you yourself have admitted that you are less than rational, that you will let your child cry, that you will scream at them?
Me: But…
Prosecution: And have you asked for help?
Me: Well I’m starting to think that might be a good idea…
Prosecution: So you are admitting to the court that you can’t cope?
Me: Well I’m not doing so crash hot right now, but I am sure that with a bit of help and advice I can get the sleep issue sorted that things will improve and this will-be a blip on the horizon…
Prosecution: Ms hissychick, just answer yes or no, are you coping right now?
Me: No
Prosecution: I put to you ms hissychick, that a mother must cope. A good mother knows she has to cope and she does.
Me: But I will get through this. I am a good mother, I’m just having a rough patch, my kids want me and need me as I do them..
Prosecution: But have you not just admitted to the court that you are not coping, that you are irrational?
Me: …
Prosecution: Yes or no?
Me: Yes.
Prosecution: No further questions.
********************************
Words have a way of coming back to haunt you, as I am sure these ones will.
Guilty as charged.
Topics: WWM 08, moody blues |
“… Yes, Larry, I am standing outside the courtroom now as the session has just gone into recess and… wait, the defense team has just emerged…
“…Ms Hissychick, Ms Hissychick, do you have any comments?”
“Yes, the prosecution team is obviously made up of single or parent-less people who obviously have not raised an infant fulltime. They obviously do not know what it’s like and what’s involved in being a fulltime parent… I’d challenge them to try and understand and handle a tiny human being who cannot yet speak yet is obviously in distress, try and figure out how to ease them when you don’t know what is bothering them; try and survive day after day of less than 6 hours INTERRUPTED sleep and yet still garner enough physical and mental energy during the day to care for the child and care for matters at home to support the child and the rest of the family…”
“… Back to you, Larry…”
JLow’s last blog post..The actual Father’s Day!
Posted by: JLow on June 16th, 2008 at 3:00 amYou are so hard on YOU.
Unnecessarily.
I’m still hoping to one day meet the perfect parent…but when I do, I shall send her over to your blog to cast the first stone!
Posted by: Averil on June 16th, 2008 at 3:40 amReiterating above points:
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
“Prosecution: I put to you ms hissychick, that a mother must cope. A good mother knows she has to cope and she does.”
So wrong! A good parent (in my book) knows when they need help and ask for it. Not knowing when is not necessarily being a bad parent (maybe a bit proud but not bad) and I’d challenge anyone to find someone who could cope through something like that just fine.
You pick yourself up and dust yourself off, you’re a champion, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise (or they’ll have me to deal with!)
Cyntech’s last blog post..Finally, Some Progress.
Posted by: Cyntech on June 16th, 2008 at 5:18 amHELP!!
I hope you can get some help fast. Just a couple of hours a day for a week, maybe, so that you can keep yourself well and sane. It’ so hard to be sane when you’re head feels like a rock from he lack of sleep.
Moomykin’s last blog post..Fathers Day celebration.
Posted by: Moomykin on June 16th, 2008 at 8:09 amI agree…you’re too hard on yourself! E knows that you love her and there is only so much sleep deprivation one can take right!
Hope the sleep deprivation subsides soon…perhaps it will be E’s ‘happy birthing day’ gift to you?
xx Em
Posted by: Emily on June 17th, 2008 at 1:07 amSo it will be OK to blame sleep deprivation and irrationality for the dead prosecutor at your feet?
I love my children to death but I would give both my ovaries to research if I could have at least two nights of unbroken sleep and a sleep in
Posted by: Simone on June 17th, 2008 at 1:50 amI dont’ drink wine but if I knew where you lived I’d kidnap you and make you sit in the hellhole that is my lounge room so we could have a glass together.
I know that feeling of failure, I get it at least once a week, often once a day. But then I sometimes look at the perfection that is my babies and think that while I may not be doing it well, they’re coping OK. And I’ve hopefully got some small part in that.
*hugs* (And I never do hugz) to you.
Posted by: Jenn on June 17th, 2008 at 9:16 amHey HissyChick
I just showed Hot Mummee this post. Here’s her input/feedback:
From our experience, we find that our baby will generally cry due to:
- hunger
- sleepiness
- discomfort, eg, flu and blocked nose
- in pain, eg, tummy upset, fever, or nappy rash- recommended to wear cotton nappies (for ventilation) rather than disposable diapers during the day
- wet / poo, needs changing
To find out why they cry, we go through the above list, administering the respective solutions, and usually we’d hit the “jackpot” before the end of the list!
Firstly, I salute and congratulate you on your 12 months breast feeding regime! That’s dedication for you!
I am not sure if you mix your beast feeding with formula. However, if you are breast feeding 100%, your baby is likely hungry in the nights as breast milk is digested more rapidly than formula milk. I myself *shamefully* have breast fed both Caitlin and Caleb for only 3 weeks after birth, and they do wake up 2-3 times a night for more milk during those 3 weeks. However, when I started them on formula milk (when they started taking approx 7-8oz a feed), they would sleep through the night for 7-8 hours.
Perhaps during the nights when you really need your rest, you could try them on formula milk too…? Just ensure that you burp them occasionally, sitting up or propped against your shoulder, as formula milk feeding do generally result in air in their gut / stomach, compared to breast feeding.
I have also tried to work the babies’ feeding, bath, sleeping, and playing times into a routine until the babies themselves get used to the routine and naturally “adopts” this rhythm.
This routine has been quite crucial for us as we both work fulltime; and lack of sleep is a total no-no.
JLow is complaining that I am being too long-winded and wants his computer back! So, hopefully this helps you out a little…. and good luck!
JLow’s last blog post..Don’t just backup your photos! Backup videos too!
Posted by: JLow on June 18th, 2008 at 3:24 pm