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As promised…the 2008 husband’s chart

By hissychick | May 30, 2008

Let’s put aside this week’s highlights, which included yet another seven days of broken sleep and having to protect three year old eyes from seeing a dog tear another dog apart while still witnessing the gruesome act itself get on with the promised quiz. The same rules apply as for the wife one:

DEMERITS

  1. Fast in coming to bed- ensures wife is still awake.
  2. Doesn’t like children.
  3. Fails to replenish wife’s chocolate stash (1000)
  4. Leaves dirty laundry around the house. Subtract an additional 100 points if said laundry is left on top of laundry hamper.
  5. Wears nail polish of any hue.
  6. Punctual to the point of being German. Subtract an additional 1000 points if husband agrees to an appointment time that will require you to bend the laws of physics to meet with young children in tow.
  7. Continues to wear socks/jocks with holes in them/fails to trim nose hair/<your choice of irritating little hygiene quirk on a par with question seven of the wifey demerit list>
  8. Goes to bed without putting the garbage out/switching off heater/turning on dishwasher/ <insert you choice of minor task that you requested five times before being told to stop nagging and that of course it will be done>
  9. Does not allow wife to put cold feet on him so that she can get warm.
  10. Is a back seat driver. Subtract an extra 50 points if said husband keeps banging on about how he’ll drive “because, you know, chicks and mechanical things…”
  11. Flirts with other women at parties and restaurants. Subtract an additional 1000 points if said flirting involves other men.
  12. Is suspicious and jealous..especially of wife’s blog.

MERITS

  1. A good host- even to the unexpected horde of relatives/ tribe of mums and kids from mother’s group etc. Add an additional 100 points if he is able to retain composure when faced with combination of inlaws and wife and daughter’s more ‘interesting’ acquaintances.
  2. Has meals on time.
  3. Can carry on an interesting conversation.
  4. Can suddenly dance and sing, purely for the entertainment of his small children
  5. Dresses the kids. Add bonus 100 points if it is coordinated and to the satisfaction of threenager.
  6. Neat housekeeper- tidy and clean. Add 1000 bonus points if happy for stay at home mum to get a cleaning service. Add 10000 points if he is happy for this to happen without being asked and without assuming that wife should be able to perform these tasks.
  7. Personally puts children to bed. Add 1000 points if he shares in middle of the night resettling. Add extra million points if he wakes to deal with them before you do.  Latter points are cancelled and added to demerits if said husband merely wakes you to go and settle child/ren before rolling over and going back to sleep again.
  8. Never goes to bed angry, always makes up first. Add extra 1000 points if he admits it was his fault.
  9. Asks wife’s opinions regarding important decisions and purchases. Add extra 100 points if he patiently waits until you have enough spare cash for the Wii Fit and lets you take turns. Add extra 1000 points if he doesn’t question your own failure to consult him re (yet another) guilty spending spree.
  10. Good sense of humour- witty/cerebral/caustic/offbeat/<insert your preferred style of humour>
  11. Religious- if it’s important to you. Irreverent if it’s not.
  12. Lets wife sleep in late whenever the opportunity arises.

I think that covers it. Anything to add dear internets?

And before you go…just had to put this pic of E in the post because it shows off her very cute knitted overalls from Paris.

dont_hate_me_cause_im_beautiful.jpg

Have a great weekend y’all.

Topics: a bit of fluff | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “As promised…the 2008 husband’s chart”

  1. But you forgot to tell us what score Mr. Hissychick got – I’m sure we’re all dieing to know……….

    toddlerdaddy’s last blog post..You can’t handle the truth!

    Posted by: toddlerdaddy on May 30th, 2008 at 9:58 am

  2. Stop painting yor nails and we’ll work it out…

    Posted by: hissychick on May 30th, 2008 at 10:25 am

  3. Yes Mistress. Don’t beat anymore Mistress. I promise to do as told

    toddlerdaddy’s last blog post..You can’t handle the truth!

    Posted by: toddlerdaddy on May 30th, 2008 at 10:27 am

  4. See I’m a bit confused. TOH wakes to crying children in middle of night before I do =1 million points

    but…. he wakes me to tell me about it

    Didn’t really deserve that first million did he?

    Posted by: Simone on May 30th, 2008 at 11:00 am

  5. PS: Adore the overalls! Very tres toddler chic!

    Posted by: Simone on May 30th, 2008 at 11:00 am

  6. Duly noted Simone. Quiz to be updated to clarify. I would kill mr hissychick if he tried that one on!

    Posted by: hissychick on May 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am

  7. Oh, Remarkable list!! Lol!!

    .. Painted nails?!! That’s the first (for me. I have never met any men who paint their nails)!

    Hope you have a good weekend too.

    p/s- Love the pix of your little sweety.

    Moomykin’s last blog post..Oh, to Sing These!

    Posted by: Moomykin on May 31st, 2008 at 5:29 pm

  8. What if it is she who hogs the remote??

    JLow’s last blog post..School’s out- Part 2

    Posted by: JLow on June 2nd, 2008 at 6:22 am

  9. TOTALLY HILARIOUS!!!

    Painting nails??

    Though I am blessed enough to have hubby who has more merits than demerits.

    But he does watch TV, or is playing with his blackberry or is on the PC almost ALL the time!!!

    Ann’s last blog post..Would you ever?

    Posted by: Ann on June 3rd, 2008 at 12:23 am

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