Archive for May, 2008
« Previous EntriesAs promised…the 2008 husband’s chart
Friday, May 30th, 2008Let’s put aside this week’s highlights, which included yet another seven days of broken sleep and having to protect three year old eyes from seeing a dog tear another dog apart while still witnessing the gruesome act itself get on with the promised quiz. The same rules apply as for the wife one:
DEMERITS
Fast in […]
Presenting the next generation of internerds
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 My little treasures won’t sleep or leave me the fuck alone for three nanoseconds these days are both showing an interest in the wonder that is the internets. Being little’uns they both have certain things that they want to watch repeatedly and I thought I would share their current favourites with you.
First up we […]
Friday fluff
Friday, May 23rd, 2008To cheer my blistered self up, or alternatively, to annoy his cranky wife and thus amuse himself, mr hissychick sent me the following little gem. Apparently it’s a marital chart from 1939, enabling husbands to determine how good the little wifey was at her wifely duties:
After laughing at my own score of -49743 points, interspersed […]
Hand, foot in and mouth disease
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
I’ve got it. With said blistery things on my tongue and hands and the little buggers hurt.
For the love of dog, I’m unclean, no thanks to the little treasures in my life and the germs that accompany them. Good thing they’re mostly adorable, or they’d be listed on ebay by now.
Please don’t […]
Legs eleven
Sunday, May 18th, 2008Miss E, you would have to be the most deliciously adorable second child in the universe. The way you crawl over for a cuddle- complete with an expressionate ahhhhh and accompanied by a gentle side to side shake of your head against my cheek. Your burgeoning vocabulary, including buh bye and nuga (your beloved Snugzee). […]
There goes my crack at immortality
Sunday, May 18th, 2008I discovered my first two grey hairs this morning.
As I frantically ripped the little fuckers from my head it occurred to me that I have no idea how long they have been there, or how many others there are that I just can’t see with my obviously age related failing eyesight.
Which leads me to one […]
Assvice for a fellow cafe patron
Friday, May 16th, 2008I am not here to babysit your child while you drink your coffee and chat leisurely with your girlfriend. It may have escaped your attention but I am juggling two kids solo and I do not appreciate your snotty nosed little treasure’s repeated and shriek filled attempts to grab my littlest one’s toy phone. […]
Can you hear the drums fernando?
Thursday, May 15th, 2008Of the perforated ear kind that is.
A is currently the unlucky recipient of a middle ear infection accompanied by “oh my dog my child’s brain is melting out of her ear” gak thanks to a burst eardrum. She is currently on an oral antibiotic/ ear drops/ painkillers regimen that would do anyone over eighty proud.
E […]
“When I grow up, I’m going to get an earring in my tongue”
Thursday, May 8th, 2008Yes, A uttered those words to me upon spying a picture of a tongue pierced girl at the dental clinic this morning. And I couldn’t even say no seeing as her father only got rid of his in the last year.
Other gems from today include:
“If you’re naughty Daddy I will bite you on the boob” […]
And the second (and third) nominee for WWM 08 is…..
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008…me. Again.
Nomination #2
For outstanding performance in failing to prevent potentially IQ reducing head injuries in the cruising soon to be toddler I give you:
Being aware of the potential danger but too distracted to prevent what I saw was coming not once, but twice on Monday, resulting in a bruised forehead and an almost black eye […]