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18 May 2004
By hissychick | May 18, 2004
Ok I am going to start with one positive thing before I launch into what is becoming a bit of a regular theme in my diary, ie me depressed about not having a baby. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway…about a week and a half ago I got to meet Lucy (Elle) and her gorgeous little peach of a daughter Olivia as they were in sydvegas for a few days. Olivia is just the most beautiful little girl (that is saying something because I am not one of those people who thinks all babies are beautiful). And Lucy is just as lovely and amazing IRL as she has been first here on EB and then in our regular emails. We spent a fabulous afternoon across in Manly, just catching up over lunch and the ferry trips. When I see her with her little girl I am reminded why I should persist with TTC even though I am frighetened, disillusioned, depressed and scared. Even though I haven’t been on EB much lately I am very glad that it was because of EB I have met Lucy and Olivia.
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Now back to how I am feeling at the moment…black, blah and fed up. I cried during my U/S today, partly because it hurt a bit but mostly because it just hit me that I am back on the rollercoaster again. So many hurdles- getting to O, hoping the embies survive the thaw, hoping one survives the extra culturing to blastocyst, hoping it implants…and this in an ‘easy’ cycle. Which if it doesn’t work out, and i am convinced it won’t, means another stim cycle and all that entails. Must be the hormones after the clomid or something. Anyway…lining is good, estrogen coming along nicely, dominant follie is about 9mm so we have a while to go yet. Another blood test in the morning. Daily blood tests are such a joy. I just want a baby, not all of this crap.
Topics: Bitter TTC bitch, IVF/ICSI, Infertile thoughts, Preblog diary, TTC |
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