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18 April 2004

By hissychick | April 18, 2004

It’s been a fun weekend…would have been perfect if Collingwood had won the football but you can’t have it all LOL Yesterday DH and I went to a uni reunion of sorts (5 years since my graduation ceremony). It was great to catch up with friends and it was such a beautiful day down at Watson’s Bay. Had a bit too much red wine to drink (how unlike me- yeah right, enjoyed a wedding that was held in the park we were at and was absolutely flabbergasted when my uni best mate/ex boyfriend apologised for being such a bastard to me when we went out seven years ago! All in all a highly amusing afternoon. DH and I then went to the John Mayer concert. Fantastic- he is so talented and delicious…and so is John Mayer ;-P We then stayed the night at a hotel with a fabulous big king sized bed, which was ut to good use! What can I say, I had just heard the aforementioned JM singing “Your Body is a Wonderland”, get me going every time LOL. It is so liberating being back to lurrvve making instead of active TTCing. This has been one of the unexpecetd benefits of our diagnosis I must say, or maybe not. When you are doing an IVF cycle the last thing you want is sex (is that a result of the drugs, or is it that you feel like you have handed that intimate aspect of your life over to medical science?), so inbetween you make the most of what you’ve got! My more positive approach to waiting for a baby continues, which freaks me somewhat, but it is so good to be able to enjoy time with my DH, and quality time at that. I guess I have spent the better part of two years worrying about what we don’t have rather than what we do. And I am not going to lie, I am sure I will feel that way again when we start our next cycle, and whenever another person in my life next announces another pregnancy…. But DH and I are doing what we can in this game of chance. Because that’s what it really is. People can delude themselves and think that they are in control of the baby making process, but no one ever really is. All IVF can do is increase our chances, it cannot guarantee a baby. Whilst that is scary, it has made me feel that we do have some control over how much energy we devote to the process of trying for a baby. If that makes sense. Anyway, got to quickly get this down because dinner is ready…we had our appointment with the doc, and once my period arrives we will get down to it again (which could be some time off, I am on about day 19 and my body is showing no signs of O). We are going to thaw our remianing three embies and culture to blastocyst. If any survive we will transfer one. This means we are not mucking around with transferring of embies that weren’t going to survive anyway. We have survived all the hurdles so far (doc told us our response in t he stim cycle was fabulous), this is just another screening process. I feel comfortable with this in theory (of course I will be devastated if there are no embies left and we have to go the stim cycle again, even if this is for the best). I will be taking a bit of clomid to ensure that my cycle is a little bit smoother as well. So there you go, all that is left for now is to wait- and enjoy life as much as possible in the meantime. I wonder what my moods/thinking will be next time i write?!

Topics: IVF/ICSI, Infertile thoughts, Preblog diary, TTC | No Comments »

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