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28 February 2004
By hissychick | February 28, 2004
Very early appointment tomorrow to pick up my injection ‘pen’. DH and I are both going to learn how to give the jabs. I’m terrified. The last two weeks haven’t been too bad- stuffing Synarel (I refer to it as my friend Cynthia) up my nose twice a day hasn’t caused a great deal of stress, although I have been a bit moody and I do feel a bit hot and bothered at night. Who knows whether it’s the stress, the hormone shutdown or if it was just PMS (I got my period on Friday)? I also went to one of the info nights run by our clinic last wednesday which was in theory reassurring….. …But now I can’t sleep. The enormity of what we are about to do has really hit home. Will we cope with IVF, and if we are successful will we cope with a baby? I was reading a pregnancy magazine this afternoon and I just started to panic about it all. I’m so tired. Tired because of lack of sleep, tired because of the emotional strain of ongoing TTC, an ectopic pregnancy and now IVF. I’m frightened of having to go through any more pain, both physical and emotional. I’m sick of living in dual worlds. If only those who see me as the slightly crazy outgoing girl with the warped sense of humour knew what I’m hiding. Thank god DH made me organise to take a flex with him for the day. Oh yuck- listen to me whinge. That’s as boring as batsh#t and far too self indulgent. Oh well at least it’s out and now I can stop being such a such a sook and just get on with it like everyone else has to. After all a bubs is worth it…I hope!
Topics: Bitter TTC bitch, IVF/ICSI, Preblog diary |
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