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2 June 2003
By hissychick | June 2, 2003
CD 18 and no sign of O- at all. No +OPK, no EWCM, nada, zip, zilch. Just when I was starting to feel confident that I may be getting a regular cycle. That’s it I am ringing the Gyn tomorrow….. I guess it could be stress- I mean what with the taxi and the cat and job applications and all. It just really sh#ts me because I was so determined to approach this cycle with a positive frame of mind. Could my subconscious really have an effect on my body? By not O this cycle I won’t run the risk of another ectopic a year after the first one? Hmmm this is gibberish tonight. I am tired and very unsuccessfully trying to write my second job app in two days. Bloody public service applications, you have to practically write a thesis of useless nonsense and that’s before the interviews lol Anyway I met a friend’s beautiful 4 month old daughter for the first time yesterday. Am hoping some baby dust rubbed off…. It’s funny, the mixture of joy and sadness that other people’s babies bring. Hope that one day DH and I will have our own. Sadness that our own little one should have been almost three months old now…. I don’t think I will ever be able to move on from the grief until I hold my child in my arms. What if this is never going to happen?
Topics: Infertile thoughts, Preblog diary, TTC |
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