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5 May 2003

By hissychick | May 5, 2003

Hmmm while DH is away it must be time for me to do an update. Let’s see I must be CD 20 DPO 4-5. Due to work committments DH and I only got one really prime BD in the fertile window- CD15 (going into 16- it was late at night lol). So we are in with a chance….I guess. From the O pains I had I think I ovulated from my right ovary. This is the first time since surgery that this has happened. Makes me a little owrried though. Poor little egg had to try and find its way across to my left tube and I have a feeling that means our chances are a bit lower this month. It would be lovely to get a BFP this cycle though- if anything it would show me that this one is a clever little thing :) I am of such mixed emotions though. DH and I have been TTC for over a year if you include our pregnancy and recovery time when we couldn’t BD and so on. I was always worried I was going to have difficulty getting pregnant and now it seems to be true. I want to be positive, but its so hard when no one gives you any answers, like why it happened and what our chances really are of both getting pregnant and having another ectopic. It’s silly..but the other day I bought the latest issue of Pregnancy and Baby and there was an article on ectopic pregnancy. According to the article my chances of conceiving have been reduced by 50%. According to my sums, if an average healthy mid to late 20′s woman has a 20% chance per cycle, that means I have about a 10% chance. I may as well be in my late 30s! So not only do I have to keep grieving for my loss, the trauma is going to be prolonged due to TTC. I don’t think I could handle waiting another 18 months or something like that! Be positive, be positive. Anyway the other gripe I had about the article was the use of the word termination in relation to ectopic pregnancy by a girl talking about her experience. Wow that hurt. How dare anyone refer to it as a termination- I mean it’s not like we had any choice or that the baby was going to live….. Thank god I have a lovely work friend to confide in about TTC and its challenges. She is so caring and just listens- and I value her input because she had some difficulties getting pregnant. Plus she spread some babydust from our colleagues nine week old baby to me :) …I don’t know whether its just me but i can’t seem to feel as happy about people who announce their pregnancies who haven’t had problems conceiving as those who have. Does that make me a bad person?

Topics: Ectopic, Infertile thoughts, Preblog diary | No Comments »

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